Chapter One: If it's your first time, it's gonna hurt.
I awake at 9:30 a.m. sweating bullets. I roll over to see David, my boyfriend, still asleep. I roll back over onto my back, exhaling with a huge sigh. My hand reaches out to twist my fingers into his gorgeous long hair while my mind wanders back to the nightmares I’ve been having all night about the show. My stomach flips over in a twist of nervous queasiness and terror.
Only David (and the 25 or so other people in my cast) have any idea how long and how hard I’ve been working on this.
I don’t really remember anything that happened on Friday before the show, except Jessica freaking out about costumes, Tim looking sexy (I had a hard time not jumping him in the Repo outfit.(haha!)) Camille and Trevor going up on the rig, and us laughing so hard at Camille wriggling to get herself turned back around on the rig she looked like a retarded Tinkerbell, or possibly a very entertaining piñata. (I love you Camille, but it was REALLY funny.)
I sighed once again, thinking back on all of this, and decided that right now wasn’t the time to get sentimental. I needed to get my head in the game, as Zefron sings.
David and I finally rolled out of bed, after he managed to basically force feed me something. I have no idea what it was, food doesn’t mean much when your fueled by stress and terror. I don’t remember what we talked about on the way down, or the drive down itself. I remember telling David that I would be hitting the ground running.
I was right. From the second I walked in the door, someone was screaming for me. Tech are running everywhere, Andie is still making sets, flight guy is running around, saw dust and plastic bags litter the audience. Ashley is everywhere with her script. I manage to make my way down to the freezing cold dungeon where I am greeted by Jessica, tears streaming down her face, surrounded by a massive piles of fabric. Patterns litter the floor. The Moms are sitting down there sewing furiously, Elyse is trying to calm Jess down, to little or no avail, people are running EVERYWHERE. I decided my presence would best be served down there, getting shit done. Eventually, Dwight attempted to come downstairs at which point we WARNED him that unless he could sew really quickly, he better leave or he’d leave without a limb. Elisabeth and I were working quite diligently and quickly on my Who Ordered Pizza dress about an hour later when Dwight tried it again- this time he got the full force of Jessica’s rage. It was pretty impressive, actually. After threats of not doing the first run through until I had all my costumes done, hell seemed to break loose. It seemed like all of the execs were about ready to rip each other a new one- I was already in serious pain, two hours sitting hunched over in the cold sewing (or rather gluing) yarn on the skirt, fixing other pieces, etc was taking its toll on my back and neck. My pain was nothing compared to Jessica’s who had had her appendix removed several days before, and was operating on something like a Xanax morphine cocktail. I don’t remember. Eventually, we managed to finish ALMOST all of my pieces (except for Blame Not My Cheeks.)
I then spent the next TWENTY FIVE MINUTES figuring out and placing all my costumes pieces where they needed to go. I need an assistant. For those of you who don’t know- I have the most costumes in the whole freaking show.
I have – 31 costume pieces, 7 wigs, and 3 pairs of shoes.
So yeah. ASSISTANT PLEASE!!!! Ms. Hilton needs her assistant!
Some how, we make it through the first run through.
Lunch time! David went and got something from Trader Joe’s for lunch. I pretty much ate it without tasting it, and tried to just shut my brain off for a while. I couldn’t even think about doing another run through and THEN AN ACTUAL SHOW.
BUT THIS IS OPERA!!!!!!!!!
I left my shoes off (the cause of my pain) and gathered up all 31 pieces, 7 wigs, and 3 pairs of shoes and reset them. I REALLY need an assistant.
We managed to get about halfway through the second runthrough when – OH SNAP! We have enough time to run Chromaggia and that’s it.
At this point, I have probably run up and down each set of steps about 35 times each (not an exaggeration), out to my car twice, ran through WSTOS with the girls twice, and done a full run through and half of one in high heels. I couldn’t help it. I walked up to David, and proceeded to burst into tears. I was in SO MUCH PAIN. Thank god for that boy and his magical foot massages.
After he managed to calm me down, I realize something.
Spooky Dan has arrived, people are lining up, and I STILL HAVEN’T SEEN THE FX GUY!!!!! I reset all my shit and make a mad dash to the green room, shoving through the audience members in line, completely in character. I manage a quick five minute meeting with the FX guy, who PROMISES to be there to apply my fake forehead right before BNMC. I dash backstage, reassured.
SHOW TIME!
So far- Jeff, Justin, Dwight, Tim, and I are upstairs together. The nerves set in. shit. Shitshitshit. My feet hurt. And- OH FUCK ME I HAVE TO PEE.
Too late now!
Miss Misery finishes her hosting, and the film starts. Morgana goes out with her violin, during the intro sequence. Jeff and I head down stairs and start hyping up Tim. The screams of approval that greeted him when he went onstage was what quieted my nerves. As soon as Tim and Felicity go offstage, Jeff, Tristan, Justin and I head onstage. More screams. I can’t help but play it up, Amber style. I flop down, and remember that – OH YEAH, we have NEVER run this effect before. Stephen walks on stage, and I notice the blood pack attached to him. I panic. That blood is going to fly backwards ALL over the stage, and probably ALL OVER ME and my costume, which I have to wear again. I process this in about half a second as Jessica pulls her “gun” and fires. Jeff triggers the device. Were it not for the fact that I had been yelling in my head the words “DON’T REACT DON’T REACT DON’T REACT” I would have jumped. Blood sprays forward ALL OVER Justin, Jessica and Morgana. My face betrayed nothing, but I did sigh of relief. My costume, at least, was safe. Behind me I hear Tristan quietly freaking out ‘holyshit! Holyshit that was awesome! Ohmygod!” and Jeff at my feet going “ Holy crap! Ohmygod its everywhere! That was so cool!” and me going “ SHUT. UP. I KNOW.” To both of them. Just then, Justin and the henchies pass me, and I realize that Justin has blood ALL OVER HIS FACE. Epic. I went offstage laughing and freaking out about how cool it was.
Onward! I change into my next costume, Mark It Up. I think just about everybody saw my boobs that day. Oh well. Jeff, Andie, Dwight, Stephen, and I head onstage, and everything goes swimmingly.
Onward once more! I figured out that Trevor has to help me get my Zydrate Anatomy costume on underneath my Sanitarium Square costume. We get me completely changed (and everyone sees my boobs again) and we all line up for Sanitarium Square. However, we had grossly miscalculated how much blood was on the stage after Thankless Job. I noticed Camille struggling valiantly for balance as I strut on stage and notice the issue. We are sliding EVERYWHERE. Camille and I dance precariously around Billy, who’s laying on the floor, and I grab her, SOMEHOW we managed to not die. Though Jeff nearly killed me when he pushed me backwards on the line “When I’m running GeneCo!” and I went slipping into Tristan. After that Dwight, Stephen, and I run frantically outside around to the lobby, thankfully washing all the blood off my shoes. We vault upstairs, and I madly throw my clothes off, zip up my boots, throw on my fourth wig and frantically make it to the bathroom.
Ah, sweet release.
Zydrate Anatomy became an obstacle course however, once I hit that stage in 6 inch stiletto heels on a stage still smeared with blood. I remember clinging to Dani for dear life, and being SO GREATFUL that it was intermission afterwards. The heels of my boots had blood going a full inch up the heel, and blood all over the toes.
INETRMEZZO.- techies run rampant with towels and rags trying to get as much blood offstage as possible. Next show- we need to place an order with Brawny. Or use a tarp. I change into my Gold outfit, with my Who Ordered Pizza outfit over it. I flag down a techie to bring me my shoes from the lobby-(personal assistant please?) I talk to Billy who is getting his neck appliance put on for Night Surgeon.
We start back up again with Who Ordered Pizza, and all goes swimmingly. The audience got a kick out of my gratuitous groping of Tim. I run offstage to change for HINAWS,
Just then Tim comes backstage, seething. Apparently, no one told him Billy had the appliance on, so blood just DUMPED all over the Repo outfit. OOPS.
During HINAWS, the techies forgot to bring Rotti’s desk back onstage, so I had to improv. Hilarity ensued when I went to skip offstage, with an added fake stumble. I land and notice my head feels decidedly light, and the audience is laughing really hard. My hands fly up to my head, where I realize that my wig has fallen off. SHIT. I roll with it though, dashing back to pick it up and failing very awkwardly offstage. I throw my wig on the table, dash upstairs for my WOP wig, and dash right back downstairs for my brief appearance in Gold.
More dashing.
I change at the speed of light into my ATOT outfit, and manage to make it. I slid THREE TIMES down the cement ramp thingy, and had to had Stephen guide me down the stairs to I wouldn’t die. As soon as I hit the backstage area I am FRANTICALLY throwing my clothes off. I then realize that the FX guy, who had PROMISED to be there………
Wasn’t.
He was NO WHERE in site. Shit. I have about a minute and half to be on stage. I scream at Stephen to help me change. He grabs my costume, throwing it at me, while I’m screaming ‘SAMMIE!!!!! WHERE’S THE FX GUY!!!!! HE’S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING BE HERE FOR MY FOREHEAD!!” the look of panic I received from the poor girl was priceless, techies are yelling into walkie talkies trying to find the guy. I’m screaming at Stephen to do the Velcro on my back while I’m putting my shoes on. Judging by the film score, I have about THIRTY SECONDS to be on stage.
“FUCK!” I scream ‘I HAVE NO FUCKING FOREHEAD!!!!” I whirl in frustration for my wig, ripping it off the wig head and jamming in unceremoniously onto my own. Stephen moves over to fix it for me, and as he moves, I see it- my saviour. Two bottles of stage Blood sitting on a ledge. Thank you, Theresa.
I turn to Stephen as I fly across the room to the bottles of blood. “TELL THE TECHS TO BRING ME AS MANY PAPER TOWELS AS POSSIBLE. AND SOME WATER BOTTLES” Stephen shouts down the stairs at the techs as I grab a bottle, ripping open the top. I then proceed to dump as much blood into my hand as I can possibly manage. Voila. Instant bloody face. I leave the bottle on the floor as I rub my hands together, effectively ruining the carpet. Oh well. This is opera. I REFUSE to go onstage without a forehead to fall off. I somehow manage to get down the stairs without using my hands (as they were covered in blood) and onto the stage in time. I prance and preen and finally I turn, sliming my face with as much blood as possible.
Ew. I can feel it dripping onto my costume. Shit. Oh well.
I run back offstage, up the stairs, and start grabbing water bottles and paper towels to get this shit off me. Stephen and I frantically scrub my face, and I run back downstairs for another two second appearance. Then I fly BACK upstairs to change into my final costume, where I take over GeneCo. (fuck yeah!)
When all is said and done, I strut back onstage for my final scene, Jeff and Tristan at my sides.
And then it’s over.
Fuck.
It’s over.
YES! I did it! WE DID IT!!!
the reviews came in, Spooky Dan interviewed us all, and we even earned some groupies.
Despite the pain, the blood, the freak outs, improv’s, tears, exhaustion, fighting, the stress, I went home with the hugest smile that night.
Did it feel worth it?
FUCK YES!
There are a few people I want to personally thank-
First- Stephen, for being cool in face of my screaming.
Secondly- Theresa, for bringing the blood that saved my ass
Camille- you were the one that was there from the BEGGINNING. Mag and Amber for life.
Jessica- words fail me when it comes to your dedication and drive. I love you.
Andie- for being amazing, taking SO MUCH onto yourself, and dedicating your time and effort.
David- for being there, taking care of me, and showing me what love means, i love you so much.
Ashley- damn, woman, for having the creative drive, the talent, and dedication to pull us all together, thank you. I owe you so much for giving me the opportunity to help create, lead, and inspire. You’re a hero.
Tim- where do I even begin? People like you are so rare, so insightfully wonderful. You need to know how much EVERYONE in this cast looks up to you, respects you, . I look at you and wish I had one tenth of your drive, focus, and ability to create. YOU started this Op’ra Shit, Tim. YOU were the spark that fanned the flames of bringing the REPO! Experience to Sacramento, you brought the thirty or so of us to create something amazing, something beautiful. Something unique. You are one of the strongest people I know, I’m so proud of you and everything you have overcome and done, and everyone of us is proud to call you our friend.
So guys, we ready to do this again in February? Cause I’m ready to bring the fire…..
TESTIFY!!!
p.s. sorry if i missed a tag of anyone..
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